as a girl were thrilling and opened a new era of my life. Each time I went out dressed the thrill became greater and the peace of mind I received lasted longer. The transition from an army uniform to a college classroom brought new hopes that a fresh start in life was the answer to my anxieties. Shortly after entering college I burned all the feminine clothes I had in a futile attempt at freedom. I was, of course, very disillusioned by exam time to find myself rummaging through the second-hand clothing stores for a dress and shoes. After a few sessions of dressing instead of studying I again destroyed my dresses and fell into a long period of de- pression. The situation became so bad that I decided to consult a psychiatrist in hope of gaining some measure of relief from the overpowering tension that was haunt- ing me. I, like most of us, thought I was the only man on the world with the strange desire to dress as a woman. I even began to resent my dates because of there lovely clothes. The first appointment with the psychiatrist brought only more worry because as he put it " professional help costs money". I paid him my entire savings, around $100 dollars and didn't even find out that I was a transvestite. He was kind enough to suggest that I sign myself into the state mental hospital where the treatment was free. Perhaps he did help me because the shock of his suggestion brought on the real- ization that I had to solve my problem some way and probably by myself.

11

Some months later things began to look gloomy again, this time I confided in a visiting priest in the privacy of a confessional. After telling the priest everything but what I should have told him, I finally summoned all of my courage and blurted out, I dress in women's clothes, Father" and began to cry. His words took me from hysterics to shock. "So what", he said. "If that's all you have been doing, you're the best customer I have had all day". He explained several things to me, ending up by saying, "If you don't harm anyone in any way and it seems that you really must put on your dresses, then by all means do so". For the first time in my life I felt like a decent human being. After twenty years of feeling constant guilt I felt some degree of peace and self respect.

6.